14. The Space Bathroom
This out-of-this-world restroom is fully equipped with leg and arm restraints while in use, to ensure total accuracy. Also, “the toilet uses flowing air instead of water to flush the toilet. The air pulls the waste away from the astronaut’s body and flushes it away.”
13. The Ski-Jump Toilet
Japan’s Madarao-Kogen hotel is home to the simulated ski-jump toilet, offering maximum comfort without the harshness of winter: “The cubicles were fully wrapped on all sides, so that the person caught short would have a ski jumper’s view when they were sitting on the loo.”
12. The Timed Toilet
WARNING: Use at your own risk. These New York public restrooms are automatically unlocked and opened after 15 minutes. There is also a weight limit for each restroom, so as to prevent small children from getting trapped inside and scandalous activity from potential partygoers or those who are a bit more adventurous. Can you beat the clock?
11. The Egg Toilet
These Space Age egg-pods can be found in London’s “sketch”, which was ranked the 18th best restaurant in the world in 2005.
10. The Vertical Bathroom
Have a small bathroom? No problem! Poop in style with The Vertebrae, a fully-equipped restroom of the future: “Award-winning designer Paul Hernon improvised The Vertebrae considering the space-conscious householders who struggle to fit a traditional shower, sink and toilet into their bathroom space.”
9. The Self-Cleaning Restroom
The Sanisette is a self-cleaning public restroom, first pioneered in Paris. After a patron exits the restroom, “a wash cycle begins inside the toilet, and the toilet fixture itself is scrubbed and disinfected automatically.” The washing process takes 60 seconds.
8. The Eco-Friendly Bathroom
Everything in this Milwaukee restroom is 100% environmentally friendly: “the bathrooms use 100% rainwater to flush its low-flow toilets… Electricity for lights and pumps is solar powered, toilet paper and towels are made from 100% recyclable materials, soaps and cleaners are biodegradable, the paint on the walls is from organic compounds, and the urinals don’t flush.”
7. The Waterfall Bathroom
Make your own log flume at The Madonna Inn, a hotel that flushes with a waterfall.
6. The Underwater Bathroom
5. The Urine-Controlled Video Game
Ever think “man, I’m so bored” while you pee? Me neither. But that hasn’t stopped Japan and the UK from creating urine-controlled video games, which are strategically placed in bars: “Apparently sales of Corona beer increased 47 per cent once the special urinals and wall-mounted displays were installed.” Let’s just hope there’s not a two-player option.
4. The Retractable Toilet
The Dutch company Urilift has created public restrooms which magically appear after-dark, so as to keep the area more picture-friendly during the day. Each retractable toilet contains multiple urinals that are equipped with lights, allowing for optimal usage when in session.
3. The Bottomless Bathroom
Mexico is home to the world’s scariest bathroom, which happens to be located on the top of a 15-story elevator shaft. You may literally find yourself scared shitless if you visit.
2. The $29 Million Dollar Toilet
This solid gold toilet was created by the Hang Fung Gold Technology Group and is located in Hong Kong. Plastic shoe covers are required to be worn at all times while in the restroom, so as not to scuff the floor’s 900-gram gold medal bars.
MIKE CLARKE / AFP
1. The One-Way Outhouse
This is the outside of the bathroom. Seems harmless, right?
But this is the inside of the bathroom, a boxed view of your entire surroundings. This diabolical toilet was created by London artist Monica Bonvicini.
And that’s the scoop on where to poop
Every good saxophonist knows how important it is to use the diaphragm. The amazing sounds that Kenny G or Joe Henderson are able to produce are all supported by a muscle much lower than the mouth and lungs. My band directors all instructed me to breathe low and deep in the gut, then push the sound out gradually in a controlled manner. As my skill on the saxophone increased, so did my ability to control my diaphragm to help me produce the sounds and tone that I wanted.
After a long day at school, I had several items that I had to take care of on my agenda. I had to practice my saxophone and I had to poop. I decided to practice first and poop second, naturally leaving the best for last. However, as I began to practice using my diaphragm the movement in my bowels made the urge to poop greater. I fought the urge for a bit, but soon it was too strong. As I began to remove my saxophone from my neck strap to go use the bathroom, my jr. high mind began connecting some dots. Muscles that I used to play the saxophone and muscles that I used to push the poop out were in the same general area. Could the practice of one be used to assist the other?
I immediately sprang into action to try my experiment. Thinking back, it is a strange thing indeed to picture myself walking into a bathroom carrying a stand, some music, and a saxophone. Getting situated took some extra effort. I had to juggle the pant removal and saxophone and stand adjusting, but I soon settled in. I proceeded to attempt practicing both instruments. I’m sure that I sounded like a crazy person as sounds of a saxophone, a person pooping, and laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation floated through the bathroom door. Unfortunately, however, the musical partnership of saxophone and poop was not meant to be. It was much too hard to coordinate the two similar, but opposing bodily functions. Eventually, I gave up and finished my bathroom business with my saxophone dejectedly placed on the floor. The experiment had failed, but I was still proud of my attempt. I knew that in the musical world I could hold my head up high because I knew that I had taken my instrument to a level few saxophonists have dared to go.
On a recent trip to Central America, I had the unfortunate opportunity to try out a sort of bathroom which I had previously never experienced. It began on a sweltering, humid day in a small village which only had running water in two buildings. Regrettably, the call of nature is not one which can be ignored for an extended period of time, and Montezuma’s revenge had hit me hard. I made my way to the small outhouse at the top of the hill. I was instructed that toilet paper was to be thrown in the trash can, and when I was finished I was to scoop water out of a nearby trough with a bucket and use it to flush. Upon venturing inside, I discovered that this was not your average squatty. It was not a hole in the ground, nor was it a functional western toilet. Instead, it was merely the toilet bowl, entirely void of a seat or reservoir. Needless to say, this made for a very uncomfortable process. Sitting on the lip was out of the question; the sanitation around food preparation was in doubt, let alone a toilet bowl. Left with no other options, I was forced to perform a wall sit over the toilet, but without a wall to lean on. I suffered as long as I could and finally completed the deed. My thighs trembled from exhaustion. I could hardly walk, but I needed to leave that foul stench behind to air out. On the plus side, this building (if it could be called a building) was anything but fully enclosed. This allowed a breeze to blow through, clearing the air. I quickly scooped a bucket of water, paused just long enough to make sure the toilet was completely flushed, and exited as quickly as possible, praying I wouldn’t have to return. I survived the rest of my time without a repeat experience, but the fear created stayed with me until we got off the plane in the states and I knew I had a solid toilet, in which I could flush my toilet paper with the press of a button, and on which I could relax while I did my business.
You’ll probably want to start at 4:35, that’s where things get interesting.
“I poop. I poop a lot—today I have already pooped twice. I love the feeling of pooping and I’m completely engaged with my poop—I wipe and inspect. I’m not going to pretend to think I’m unique in this—all my girl friends do the same. We even sit around from time to time (if from time to time means everyday) and discuss our poop.
You think that’s gross, right? Well, I don’t. I don’t think there’s anything particularly gross about one of our most natural bodily functions (I mean, unless you’re eating it or wearing it as a hat or something); everyone poops. And being aware of it is a way for me to keep up with my body. Is my poop a wet runny mess sputtering out of my ass? Yep, I’m dehydrated; need to drink more water! Is it bright yellow? Woops ate something bad, or I need to pre-empt this cold and down the vitamins! Is it sort of maroon-ish? Those beets really did a number on staining my intestines—what a curiosity!
Girls also poop in front of each other. My girl friends and I joke (but really we’re completely serious) that we’re not real friends until we’ve shared a poop. Girls also poop when they need to poop. I’ll poop in the toilets at a bar or a club or a cinema or wherever—when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go. I’ve got girl friends that have pooped in the ocean (I really want to do it; apparently it feels really weird) and just on the ground in a natural environment, like the bush.”
You can find her whole post here
Pooping is inspiring. It is one of the few actions that drive men to better themselves, achieve the impossible, and create solutions for the world’s problems. When one considers all the positive elements of pooping, (with no negatives, mind you) it makes me wonder why restrooms are so bland and thrown together. Since the fall of man, life on earth has been a continual struggle to deny the sinful desires of the depraved mind and train ourselves to make decisions that improve society. Some cultures have done a better job of this than others. One of the most difficult impulses man needs to fight is the impulse to neglect the construction of peaceful and enjoyable crappers. If men have good restrooms, they will spend more time pooping. When men (and women) spend more time pooping, all of society benefits.
I will try to summarize what constitutes a good restroom in my opinion:
1. Natural light. Pooping is organic, and I believe the lighting should also be organic. Dark, musty bathrooms are a crime against humanity and should be done away with. Recently my grandma tiled over the window in her bathroom to put in a shower. I nearly cried. The only thing that rivals a poop taken under the light of the sun is a shower taken under the light of the sun. What a shame.
2. Cleanliness. Yes I know this goes against most male’s tendencies, but it’s true. Clean bathrooms are simply more peaceful.
3. Discover what sound is most stimulating to your mind. Everyone is different, but heightening the enjoyment of a poop can be done by discovering what audio companion you need. For some it’s silence, others white noise, like a fan, and many it’s music. In that case, it is your duty as a human to discover what music is most stimulating to your mind.
4. Toilet. Don’t ever think the toilet doesn’t matter when pooping. Ever. The body is made to poop most effectively while squatting (without any aid) So I like to meet it in the middle. I like to have to squat down pretty low to hit the porcelain rim. And it can’t be too small of a circumference. If I feel any risk of my fluids not reaching their targeted destination, there’s not enough room. I even like a small gap in the front in case I need to hock a loogie and spit.
And that folks is my primary four elements to a successful poop. I’m sure I will expand on this later but until then, take it sleazy.
-Harold “Stinky” Dickinson
“One of my earliest memories of this subject was when I was 1 or 2. Maybe even 3, as my memory is a bit fuzzy that far back. One of my aunts had my brother and I in the bathtub, giving us a bath. I was in front, and he was behind me. I remember looking down, and watching with some amazement as a brown log floated slowly between my legs and toward the front of the tub. I was thinking, “Hey, that’s pretty cool”, and I’m sure I could have watched it for hours, fascinated. Just like a leaf floating lazily down a peaceful river. I knew it was mine, so I assume I understood what part I had in delivering this fine work of art to an appreciative audience…
If I’m on the john and stand up afterwards, sometimes I’m tempted to admire my handiwork. Like a wine connoisseur commenting on the bouquet and fragrance of the wine, I make mental notes on the color, size, shape and form of my artwork. Sometimes it’s all jumbled up, and sometimes you have a beautiful swirl like a soft serve ice cream cone. I’m almost tempted to pat myself on the back, until I remember I’ve got a tissue in hand.”