The Log Blog

We all do it. Let's start talking about it.

Tag: poopsperience

You Belong

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

When we poop, we experience this true sense of belonging described by Fitzgerald. Every poop is a little piece of literature. Each time you sit down on the toilet to excrete fecal matter, you are telling a story. Some poops are poems, brief and beautiful. Some poops are novels, a series of events coming together in one glorious finished project. Some poops are chronicles that can last for days, telling a story of adventure and excitement. In pooping and discussing poop with others, we discover that our longings are truly universal. Our experiences on the toilet can bring us together and remind us that we are not alone. Next time you sit down to down to poop, take a moment to reflect on how intrinsically connected you are with humanity in that moment.

-R.J. Crapper

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The Poopie Post

“One of my earliest memories of this subject was when I was 1 or 2. Maybe even 3, as my memory is a bit fuzzy that far back. One of my aunts had my brother and I in the bathtub, giving us a bath. I was in front, and he was behind me. I remember looking down, and watching with some amazement as a brown log floated slowly between my legs and toward the front of the tub. I was thinking, “Hey, that’s pretty cool”, and I’m sure I could have watched it for hours, fascinated. Just like a leaf floating lazily down a peaceful river. I knew it was mine, so I assume I understood what part I had in delivering this fine work of art to an appreciative audience…

If I’m on the john and stand up afterwards, sometimes I’m tempted to admire my handiwork. Like a wine connoisseur commenting on the bouquet and fragrance of the wine, I make mental notes on the color, size, shape and form of my artwork. Sometimes it’s all jumbled up, and sometimes you have a beautiful swirl like a soft serve ice cream cone. I’m almost tempted to pat myself on the back, until I remember I’ve got a tissue in hand.”

These excerpts have been taken from The Poopie Post by dolphinswithmohawks, who is a pretty cool blogger. The rest of the blog was pretty funny, so check it out!

Physics of a Good Poop

All of us have enjoyed poops in the comfort of our or other people’s homes. But some of us are a little bit more adventurous. We have all heard tales of crazy people who like to take dumps in strange or exciting places. Whether it’s on a hike in the woods, in the ocean, or even while skydiving; adventurous people will find a way to build a log cabin. This got me thinking: what are the physics involved to a good poop? We could all benefit from advanced knowledge of this phenomenon. We all do it, after all. It could help to improve our poopsperience all around.

Let’s begin with the basic science. It is most commonly held that it takes about 6 different groups of muscles to poop: the rectal smooth muscle, internal sphincter, external sphincter, expletory thoracic muscles, diaphragm, and abdominal muscles (the last three are breathing muscles that are involved in what is known as the Valsalva maneuver).

It is impossible to lay down a generic figure on how much effort it takes to poop. This depends on three things: composition of the stool, position of the body during the poop, and atmospheric conditions. The atmospheric conditions have the least affect, but they still must be considered. Of the atmospheric conditions, humidity and relative atmospheric pressure have the largest effect on the ease of a poop. Higher humidity allows for the poop to slide out easier. Higher atmospheric pressure causes body organs to swell slightly and for it to be more difficult to pinch one off. However, low atmospheric conditions are usually indicative of storms, and this causes the body to tense up, so in reality, the two are more than likely be at equilibrium with each other. Body position has been a hot item as of late. Whether one should sit or squat is on the mind of all serious health “nuts”. In the eastern parts of the world, it is common to squat, while in the western parts of the world, sitting is the accepted way to do your business.

Sitting provides a sharper angle and simply makes it more difficult to poop. There are many health problems associated with sitting when one poops. These can include constipation, hemorrhoids, colon disease, urinary infections, and pelvic issues.

Physics is a field of science concerned with learning about the physical universe and using that knowledge to create machines and devices that are more efficient and require less maintenance. From a physics standpoint, it is much more efficient on the body to squat while pooping. If you can break the modern culture, I would suggest doing so to become a healthier person.

-Dr. Erwin Schrödingleberry

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