The Log Blog

We all do it. Let's start talking about it.

Month: August, 2014

The Not-So-Squatty

No Seat
On a recent trip to Central America, I had the unfortunate opportunity to try out a sort of bathroom which I had previously never experienced. It began on a sweltering, humid day in a small village which only had running water in two buildings. Regrettably, the call of nature is not one which can be ignored for an extended period of time, and Montezuma’s revenge had hit me hard. I made my way to the small outhouse at the top of the hill. I was instructed that toilet paper was to be thrown in the trash can, and when I was finished I was to scoop water out of a nearby trough with a bucket and use it to flush. Upon venturing inside, I discovered that this was not your average squatty. It was not a hole in the ground, nor was it a functional western toilet. Instead, it was merely the toilet bowl, entirely void of a seat or reservoir. Needless to say, this made for a very uncomfortable process. Sitting on the lip was out of the question; the sanitation around food preparation was in doubt, let alone a toilet bowl. Left with no other options, I was forced to perform a wall sit over the toilet, but without a wall to lean on. I suffered as long as I could and finally completed the deed. My thighs trembled from exhaustion. I could hardly walk, but I needed to leave that foul stench behind to air out. On the plus side, this building (if it could be called a building) was anything but fully enclosed. This allowed a breeze to blow through, clearing the air. I quickly scooped a bucket of water, paused just long enough to make sure the toilet was completely flushed, and exited as quickly as possible, praying I wouldn’t have to return. I survived the rest of my time without a repeat experience, but the fear created stayed with me until we got off the plane in the states and I knew I had a solid toilet, in which I could flush my toilet paper with the press of a button, and on which I could relax while I did my business.

-Lucky Logger

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Death of an Inspiration

Recently, I discovered that a hero of mine had died. While we had only met briefly a few times, this hero had a huge impact on me. Not only is the Log Blog a result of this inspiration, but my pursuit of better toilets and a better experience is thanks to just a few of these meetings. I remember one lesson in particular. This was the time I learned about the ideal partier’s restroom. After a long night of partying or sickness, one may need access to both the toilet and the sink at the same time. It just so happened that this particular, quaint bathroom was so tiny that, while sitting on the toilet, one’s face was practically forced into the sink whether one was sick or not. The implications of this statement didn’t immediately sink in, but over time I have realized several things from the experience. First, I now know that there are many hidden features, both positive and negative, which we many not recognize. We have to dig deeper and explore each place thoroughly from a variety of angles before we can truly discount a restroom. The next lesson I learned was that discussion is infinitely beneficial. If I had not been told of this alternate use, I never would have been inspired to explore the ins-and-outs of toilets to such a depth. The final lesson I learned from this acquaintance is that we have to take advantage of opportunities while we have them. I never became personal friends, but only had brief contact. As you may have guessed, this incredible impact, this inspiration, this influence on my life is a toilet. Now it no longer works. The water has been shut off, and I never had the pleasure of using it. If I could go back I would fight to keep this bathroom working. But since I can’t, let it be a lesson to us all. The bathroom is a place to experience. Let us not waste our time there, but take advantage of every opportunity to better ourselves and delve into the discarded aspects of life.

—Daffy Dung

Poopouri