The Log Blog

We all do it. Let's start talking about it.

Pooping the Year Away

We’re pretty proud of our first year, thanks to everybody for all your support! Keep pooping!

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 530 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 9 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Jimmy Johns

This post has been found on both Imgur and Reddit, but as connoisseurs of restrooms, you need to be able to find it on the Log Blog.
Jimmy John’s asks, What Restroom User are You?
What Type
1. Rebel
2. Dreamer
3. Slacker
4. Over-Achiever
5. Leaner
6. Thinker
7. Shaker
8. Anal-Retentive
9. Mover
10. Early-Riser
11. Show-Off
12. Girly
13. Type-A
14. Frightened
15. Enlightened
16. Relaxed
17. Creative

14 Places You Have to Poop Before You Die

This article is found originally on Buzzfeed, and was written by BuzzFeed staff-member Spencer Althouse. The original article can be found here.

14. The Space Bathroom

This out-of-this-world restroom is fully equipped with leg and arm restraints while in use, to ensure total accuracy. Also, “the toilet uses flowing air instead of water to flush the toilet. The air pulls the waste away from the astronaut’s body and flushes it away.”
14
http://science.howstuffworks.com/bathroom-in-space.htm

13. The Ski-Jump Toilet

Japan’s Madarao-Kogen hotel is home to the simulated ski-jump toilet, offering maximum comfort without the harshness of winter: “The cubicles were fully wrapped on all sides, so that the person caught short would have a ski jumper’s view when they were sitting on the loo.”
13
http://myoko-nagano.com/madarao/

12. The Timed Toilet

WARNING: Use at your own risk. These New York public restrooms are automatically unlocked and opened after 15 minutes. There is also a weight limit for each restroom, so as to prevent small children from getting trapped inside and scandalous activity from potential partygoers or those who are a bit more adventurous. Can you beat the clock?
12
http://geardiary.com/2008/03/16/new-york-city-automatic-toilet-110000-for-a-wet-seat/#.UcCeTvb70Vk

11. The Egg Toilet

These Space Age egg-pods can be found in London’s “sketch”, which was ranked the 18th best restaurant in the world in 2005.
11
http://dionedrew.tumblr.com/post/47673280764/london-4

10. The Vertical Bathroom

Have a small bathroom? No problem! Poop in style with The Vertebrae, a fully-equipped restroom of the future: “Award-winning designer Paul Hernon improvised The Vertebrae considering the space-conscious householders who struggle to fit a traditional shower, sink and toilet into their bathroom space.”
10
http://elitechoice.org/2008/10/05/vertical-bathroom-to-clear-space-crunch/

9. The Self-Cleaning Restroom

The Sanisette is a self-cleaning public restroom, first pioneered in Paris. After a patron exits the restroom, “a wash cycle begins inside the toilet, and the toilet fixture itself is scrubbed and disinfected automatically.” The washing process takes 60 seconds.
9
source

8. The Eco-Friendly Bathroom

Everything in this Milwaukee restroom is 100% environmentally friendly: “the bathrooms use 100% rainwater to flush its low-flow toilets… Electricity for lights and pumps is solar powered, toilet paper and towels are made from 100% recyclable materials, soaps and cleaners are biodegradable, the paint on the walls is from organic compounds, and the urinals don’t flush.”
8
http://www.travelchannel.com/video/milwaukee-eco-friendly-toilets

7. The Waterfall Bathroom

Make your own log flume at The Madonna Inn, a hotel that flushes with a waterfall.
7
http://www.urinal.net/madonna/

6. The Underwater Bathroom

This woman’s restroom is encompassed by an underwater aquarium, located in Akashi, Japan. This is one of the most expensive toilets in the world, costing roughly $270,000.
6

5. The Urine-Controlled Video Game

Ever think “man, I’m so bored” while you pee? Me neither. But that hasn’t stopped Japan and the UK from creating urine-controlled video games, which are strategically placed in bars: “Apparently sales of Corona beer increased 47 per cent once the special urinals and wall-mounted displays were installed.” Let’s just hope there’s not a two-player option.
5
http://www.jacehallshow.com/tag/urine/

4. The Retractable Toilet

The Dutch company Urilift has created public restrooms which magically appear after-dark, so as to keep the area more picture-friendly during the day. Each retractable toilet contains multiple urinals that are equipped with lights, allowing for optimal usage when in session.
4
http://www.innovcity.com/2010/06/24/discreet-loos-popping-out-of-the-ground-at-nightfall/

3. The Bottomless Bathroom

Mexico is home to the world’s scariest bathroom, which happens to be located on the top of a 15-story elevator shaft. You may literally find yourself scared shitless if you visit.
3
http://thefw.com/wackiest-bathrooms-ever/

2. The $29 Million Dollar Toilet

This solid gold toilet was created by the Hang Fu­ng Gold Technology Group and is located in Hong Kong. Plastic shoe covers are required to be worn at all times while in the restroom, so as not to scuff the floor’s 900-gram gold medal bars.
2
MIKE CLARKE / AFP

1. The One-Way Outhouse

This is the outside of the bathroom. Seems harmless, right?
1a
http://en.paperblog.com/public-toilet-on-the-street-made-of-one-way-mirrors-311410/

But this is the inside of the bathroom, a boxed view of your entire surroundings. This diabolical toilet was created by London artist Monica Bonvicini.
1b
http://en.paperblog.com/public-toilet-on-the-street-made-of-one-way-mirrors-311410/

And that’s the scoop on where to poop

Fluctuation in E Flat

Saxophone
“Beans, Beans the Musical Fruit, the more you eat the more you toot!”

Every good saxophonist knows how important it is to use the diaphragm. The amazing sounds that Kenny G or Joe Henderson are able to produce are all supported by a muscle much lower than the mouth and lungs. My band directors all instructed me to breathe low and deep in the gut, then push the sound out gradually in a controlled manner. As my skill on the saxophone increased, so did my ability to control my diaphragm to help me produce the sounds and tone that I wanted.

After a long day at school, I had several items that I had to take care of on my agenda. I had to practice my saxophone and I had to poop. I decided to practice first and poop second, naturally leaving the best for last. However, as I began to practice using my diaphragm the movement in my bowels made the urge to poop greater. I fought the urge for a bit, but soon it was too strong. As I began to remove my saxophone from my neck strap to go use the bathroom, my jr. high mind began connecting some dots. Muscles that I used to play the saxophone and muscles that I used to push the poop out were in the same general area. Could the practice of one be used to assist the other?

I immediately sprang into action to try my experiment. Thinking back, it is a strange thing indeed to picture myself walking into a bathroom carrying a stand, some music, and a saxophone. Getting situated took some extra effort. I had to juggle the pant removal and saxophone and stand adjusting, but I soon settled in. I proceeded to attempt practicing both instruments. I’m sure that I sounded like a crazy person as sounds of a saxophone, a person pooping, and laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation floated through the bathroom door. Unfortunately, however, the musical partnership of saxophone and poop was not meant to be. It was much too hard to coordinate the two similar, but opposing bodily functions. Eventually, I gave up and finished my bathroom business with my saxophone dejectedly placed on the floor. The experiment had failed, but I was still proud of my attempt. I knew that in the musical world I could hold my head up high because I knew that I had taken my instrument to a level few saxophonists have dared to go.

-Jane Pooptrane

The Not-So-Squatty

No Seat
On a recent trip to Central America, I had the unfortunate opportunity to try out a sort of bathroom which I had previously never experienced. It began on a sweltering, humid day in a small village which only had running water in two buildings. Regrettably, the call of nature is not one which can be ignored for an extended period of time, and Montezuma’s revenge had hit me hard. I made my way to the small outhouse at the top of the hill. I was instructed that toilet paper was to be thrown in the trash can, and when I was finished I was to scoop water out of a nearby trough with a bucket and use it to flush. Upon venturing inside, I discovered that this was not your average squatty. It was not a hole in the ground, nor was it a functional western toilet. Instead, it was merely the toilet bowl, entirely void of a seat or reservoir. Needless to say, this made for a very uncomfortable process. Sitting on the lip was out of the question; the sanitation around food preparation was in doubt, let alone a toilet bowl. Left with no other options, I was forced to perform a wall sit over the toilet, but without a wall to lean on. I suffered as long as I could and finally completed the deed. My thighs trembled from exhaustion. I could hardly walk, but I needed to leave that foul stench behind to air out. On the plus side, this building (if it could be called a building) was anything but fully enclosed. This allowed a breeze to blow through, clearing the air. I quickly scooped a bucket of water, paused just long enough to make sure the toilet was completely flushed, and exited as quickly as possible, praying I wouldn’t have to return. I survived the rest of my time without a repeat experience, but the fear created stayed with me until we got off the plane in the states and I knew I had a solid toilet, in which I could flush my toilet paper with the press of a button, and on which I could relax while I did my business.

-Lucky Logger

Death of an Inspiration

Recently, I discovered that a hero of mine had died. While we had only met briefly a few times, this hero had a huge impact on me. Not only is the Log Blog a result of this inspiration, but my pursuit of better toilets and a better experience is thanks to just a few of these meetings. I remember one lesson in particular. This was the time I learned about the ideal partier’s restroom. After a long night of partying or sickness, one may need access to both the toilet and the sink at the same time. It just so happened that this particular, quaint bathroom was so tiny that, while sitting on the toilet, one’s face was practically forced into the sink whether one was sick or not. The implications of this statement didn’t immediately sink in, but over time I have realized several things from the experience. First, I now know that there are many hidden features, both positive and negative, which we many not recognize. We have to dig deeper and explore each place thoroughly from a variety of angles before we can truly discount a restroom. The next lesson I learned was that discussion is infinitely beneficial. If I had not been told of this alternate use, I never would have been inspired to explore the ins-and-outs of toilets to such a depth. The final lesson I learned from this acquaintance is that we have to take advantage of opportunities while we have them. I never became personal friends, but only had brief contact. As you may have guessed, this incredible impact, this inspiration, this influence on my life is a toilet. Now it no longer works. The water has been shut off, and I never had the pleasure of using it. If I could go back I would fight to keep this bathroom working. But since I can’t, let it be a lesson to us all. The bathroom is a place to experience. Let us not waste our time there, but take advantage of every opportunity to better ourselves and delve into the discarded aspects of life.

—Daffy Dung

Poopouri

Poop Splash Elimination – Smarter Every Day

 

You Belong

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

When we poop, we experience this true sense of belonging described by Fitzgerald. Every poop is a little piece of literature. Each time you sit down on the toilet to excrete fecal matter, you are telling a story. Some poops are poems, brief and beautiful. Some poops are novels, a series of events coming together in one glorious finished project. Some poops are chronicles that can last for days, telling a story of adventure and excitement. In pooping and discussing poop with others, we discover that our longings are truly universal. Our experiences on the toilet can bring us together and remind us that we are not alone. Next time you sit down to down to poop, take a moment to reflect on how intrinsically connected you are with humanity in that moment.

-R.J. Crapper

Paramore Poop Club


You’ll probably want to start at 4:35, that’s where things get interesting.